


I Sit Beside The Fire and Think (An Obey Me Fanfiction)

by XxBlazzyxX



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angels, Demons, F/F, F/M, Fanfiction, M/M, Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29031789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxBlazzyxX/pseuds/XxBlazzyxX
Summary: A strange letter. An unknown power. Seven brothers. What could it all mean?
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Male Character(s), Beelzebub/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo/Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This prologue is in the first person, but all chapters after will be in third person.

It had been a long time since I had last received a letter. I think the last letter I got was from Santa when I was around eight — and that was about eleven years ago. This letter felt different from a letter that Santa Claus sent. It felt almost as light as a feather, and the envelope was a dark red. 

My family had been out at the time the letter came. It was odd. Mail usually came everyday but Sunday, but this letter arrived on Sunday when people would usually be in church. 

I decided to open it then and there, not wanting to waste any time. The letter opener — which had been sitting in the dining room near the bills — was soon in my hand, slowly helping me open the mysterious letter

_Congratulations!_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at the Royal Academy of Diavolo._

_Please return this letter with your sign to confirm your participation._

_We are looking forward to welcoming you as part of our new exchange program._

_Yours Sincerly,_

_Diavolo_

I gave the letter a look. It was confusing. Royal Academy of Diavolo? When had I signed up for that place? Sure, I had started applying to universities after my gap year, but with such an odd name you’d think I’d remember applying.

Getting my phone out I started looking through the web to try and find this Royal Academy of Diavolo. It felt like hours that I looked with no results. Where exactly was this place?

With a small sigh I looked at the letter again. There was a long line that I could put my signature on, but I didn’t know if I wanted to.

“Royal Academy of Diavolo.”

It felt like my arm moved on it’s own, grabbing a pen and signing my name in the best cursive I could…


	2. Welcome to the Devildom

With a few blinks of his eyes Ryker was awake. The ceiling was far above him. Much different than the ceiling in his room. Where was he? Slowly he sat up and looked around. The room was fairly large, with a long table with a small but taller table behind it — almost like a podium. There were seven chairs at the long table, and a singular chair at the one like a podium.

“It’s dark…” His eyes took a moment to adjust as he rubbed the sleep from them. “This place looks like a courtroom…”

As he looked around his eyes met that of several men sitting in the chairs. The one sitting at the podium stood with a smile.

“Welcome to the Devildom, Ryker.”

The man was tall. He looked to be about six feet. His skin was like that of coffee with just a small splash of milk. His hair was short and neatly combed down, giving him slightly pointed bangs with the red hair. His eyes were like gold ingots, shining.

“Oh, pardon me. You must be a bit shocked. Well, that’s understandable, you did just arrive after all. As a human, it will probably take you a while to adjust.”

Ryker felt like his head was spinning. “I’m sorry… Devildom? Where exactly am I? And what is a Devildom?”

The man let out a hearty laugh. “What a human thing to say. You seem like the sort of person we are looking for.”

“That… Didn’t answer my question…”

“Well, I suppose I should start by introducing myself. My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know me. And someday soon, I will be crowned King of the Devildom.”

Ryker nodded at the man — Diavolo. “Congratulations? I’m happy to hear that for you?” 

“Haha! Thank you! It isn’t everyday a human thanks a demon for becoming king! Well, to continue, this is the Royal Academy of Diavolo, though we just call it RAD.”

When Diavolo said it, it all started to come back. Ryker remembered signing the letter. When his parents got home he told them he had been accepted to an out of country university. They were excited for him — worried — but excited. Then next thing he knew he ended up here.

“You’re standing inside the assembly hall, the very heart of RAD. This is where we officers of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business. I am the president of said council.”

“I see… I remember signing the letter to come here, but I didn’t realize it was… Well…”

“Hell?” Diavolo said with a smile.

“Yeah…” Ryker scratched his cheek, laughing nervously. “I don’t really understand why I’m here, or why I was chosen…”

“I will explain everything.” Another man stood. His seat was in front of where Diavolo sat. This man was almost as tall as Diavolo, just a few inches shorter. His hair was a dark raven black, and was swept to the side — perhaps being held in place by gel. His eyes were a scary sort of red that stared into the soul.

“Ryker, this is Lucifer, and he is the Avatar of Pride,” Diavolo said, “he’s also the Vice President of the student council and my right-hand man… And not just in title, I assure you.”

“I see… So… Is he your husband then?”

Lucifer’s ears turned a slight red and he coughed. “Lord Diavolo and I are not in any kind of romantic relationship. Our relationship is simply professional.”

“Oh! I’m sorry.” Ryker said, laughing again. “I’m not always good at observing the relationships between others.” 

“Professional? But Lucifer! You’re my most trusted friend!” Diavolo said, a pout on his face. 

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo.” Lucifer said, turning to Ryker. “Speaking on behalf of the entire student body at this great and storied school of ours, I offer you a most heartfelt welcome, Ryker.” 

“On behalf of the students?”

“Diavolo believes that we demons should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the celestial realm.”

“Ah. So you are demons.”

“How did you assume?” Lucifer asked

“I’ve never met a human with red eyes, or gold for that matter. And, well, this is hell.”

“Well… To continue with what I was saying, we are taking our first step to achieve the goal of strengthening the bonds between our species with this exchange program. We have also sent two students to the human world, and two to the celestial realm. We will be welcoming four students to our school; two from the celestial realm, and two from your world. I assume you have put two and two together at this point?”

“I’ve been chosen as an exchange student at this school? That would make the most sense with what you’ve been saying.”

“Correct. You will be here for one year, and will complete the tasks that RAD gives you. After a year you will write a paper on your stay here.”

“A paper…! I’m horrible at writing those…! Is there a minimum requirement of words it has to be…! I hope it isn’t too long…!”

“We aren’t expecting you to write a doctoral thesis,” Lucifer said, “you can take it easy.”

Ryker gave him a look of slight despair.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes. It’s not like I will abandon you to be all by your lonesome in the Devildom. You obviously will need someone to watch over you, and that person will be my brother, Mammon. He is the Avatar of Greed, and… How should I put it… Ah, you’ll understand soon enough.”

Lucifer handed Ryker a small device. 

“Hey! This looks like a phone!” Ryker said, looking it over.

“It is quite like the phones you use in the human world. We call it a D.D.D. It is yours for using as long as you’re here. Go ahead and call Mammon with it.”

Ryker opened his phone and found that he already had the contact information for this Mammon. He clicked on the call button, listening to it ring for a few seconds before he got an answer.

“Yooo.”

Ryker stayed quiet for a moment before letting out a simple, “hello.”

“Eh? Are you foolin’ around? Who the hell is this?” The voice came back. Ryker wasn’t sure how to respond. 

“My name is Ryker. I'm a human.” 

“Whaaa-? A human? Geez! I was worried it was Lucifer again! Ya should’ve told me right away!”

“Sorry. Do you not get along with him...?”

“T... That doesn’t matter! Anyways, what business does a human have with the great Mammon?”

“Ah well, your brother said that you need to take care of me but... I think it would be better if we became friends! Don’t you think”

The line was silent for a moment until Ryker heard “uh-uh! No way!”

“But Lucifer said-”

“No way, human! Why would I watch ya if there ain’t anything in it for me? Besides, whaddya even mean by in charge of you? Ah, wait a minute! You’re that other exchange student Lucifer was talking about!”

“Could you slow down? You’re talking pretty fast, and it’s hard to keep up with what you’re saying...”

“Well, g’luck with the whole exchange student thing. See ya!” 

“Wait! Lucifer called for you?” Ryker said, hoping it would make a difference.

“Pfft! I ain’t listening to ya! That name doesn’t scare me one bit!”

Lucifer came up behind Ryker and got close to the phone. “Mammon. You have ten seconds. Ten... Nine... Eight...”

The reply from the other side of the phone was almost instant. “YESSIR...!” And with that the phone was hung up.

Ryker stared at the D.D.D for a moment before putting it into his side pocket. 

“It seems you had a nice conversation.” Lucifer said, a mischievous smile on his face. Ryker let out a small laugh, scratching his cheek. “I think he seems... Reliable... In some ways.”

Lucifer pursed his eyebrows, “you think so?” He shook his head. “That isn’t what I would call him at all.”

“Well, if you were suddenly brought to a strange place and were told an unfamiliar face would be taking care of you, I`m sure you would be anxious.” Diavolo interjected.

Ryker nodded, letting out a small sigh. “It is a bit overwhelming... I’m not quite sure what to make of all of it...”

Diavolo smiled and held his arms out. “Worry not! Mammon won’t be the only one who will be helping you! Lucifer, we still need to introduce our new friend to your brothers, and I feel as though that task should be left to you, and not myself.”

“As much as I dread doing so,” Lucifer let out a sigh and nodded, “you’re right. It has to be done if he will be staying here.” 

From one of the seats a slender male with pink hair let his voice be heard. “Oh, come on. You should be honoured to introduce a charming and sweet little brother such as myself, Luci~!”

“Do **not** call me Luci... Nevertheless, Ryker, this one is Asmodeus. He is the fifth eldest and the avatar of lust.”

“Wha- Lucifer! How could you ignore what I said **and** refer to me as _this one_? How rude!” 

Ryker looked the other over. His uniform was much like everyone else's, but it had its own flare. He wore a dark green button-up under it with a light pink bow-tie. Ryker thought it suited him well. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Asmodeus!” Ryker said, giving him a wide smile. “I hope we can be friends!”

Asmodeus looked down at the human and smiled. “Ah~! You’re so cute! Look at the freckles! And your hair is so bright and orange! I could just gobble you up!”  
  


“Please don’t,” Ryker said, still smiling up at him.

  
“At least Lucifer didn’t completely ignore you Asmo... How do you think I feel?” A blonde man said. 

“Ah. That one there is Satan, the fourth eldest. He may seem like a responsible demon at first glance, but looks can be decieving.” Lucifer had a slight smirk in his voice as the words left his mouth. Ryker had a feeling the two didn’t get along.

“Oh, I`m **that one** , am I?” Satan let out a small ‘tch’ sound then turned to Ryker. “It’s nice to meet you Ryker. I am Satan, the avatar of wrath.”

“Wrath? That’s anger isn’t it? You don’t seem like a very angry person.” Ryker tilted his head and let out a small puff of air that could almost be considered a laugh. “But what are these avatar things about exactly? I mean... I know about avatar the last airbender... Is it like that?”

The demons all looked at each other and shook their heads.  
  


“It basically just sums up who we are.” Satan said. 

“Along with our powers!” Asmodeus added. “How about I give a demonstration! Ryker, would you look into my eyes for a moment? It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. Don’t be shy~” His voice rang in a teasing tone. 

Ryker nodded and looked into Asmodeus’ pink eyes with his own green ones.

“Oooh, that’s perfect. Now, keep your eyes fixed on mine. Just like that...” Asmodeus stared into Ryker’s eyes and let out a soft hum, “now hold on... There’s something about you...”

“I should warn you, Ryker,” Satan started, “you should be wary of Asmo’s gaze.” He put a hand on his hip, shaking his head. “His power allows him to charm and manipulate people and use them to his advantage.”

“What a crazy power...!” Ryker said, shaking his head. “It sounds almost fake!”  
  
“Fake!?” Asmodeus yelled. “I’m as real as they come! How could you call me fake!” Ryker held his hands up and smiled, “sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way!”

“If you aren’t careful he’ll put you under his spell, and then he’ll eat you.”

As Ryker backed away and trembled a bit Asmodeus crossed his arms and pouted at Satan. “Don’t go starting rumours about your little brother!” He said with a huff. “But regardless, my power doesn’t seem to work on this human.” 

“Interesting…” Satan said, rubbing his chin. 

“Are you done?” Lucifer asked, crossing his arms. “Now, that one there with the grumpy look is Beelzebub. He’s the sixth oldest.” 

The man who stood was taller than the others. He was at least a foot taller than Ryker, maybe 6’3 or so. His hair was the same ginger, and his eyes were a deep purple.

“Lucifer.” He said. “I’m hungry.”

“That’s too bad. Behave yourself.”

Beelzebub held his stomach and frowned. “I’m Beelzebub, the avatar of gluttony.” 

Lucifer stepped in with crossed arms. “Anyhow, there are seven of us brothers, and I am the oldest. Mammon, the second eldest, who you spoke with on the phone, will be here soon.”

“He’s nice, right?” Ryker asked, smiling and tilting his head.

The others went quiet until Lucifer spoke up. “My other brothers aren’t here at the moment, but we can talk about them later.”

“During your stay in the Devildom,” Diavolo interjected, “the brothers will lend you their strength. To keep you safe you’ll be staying in the house of lamentation.”

“House of lamentation?” Ryker asked. “I’m not sure what that is.”

“It is the home my brothers and I live in.” Lucifer responded. 

“Oh… And why do I have to stay there to be safe?”

Lucifer shook his head. “I suppose I should have mentioned. Most agree with Diavolo, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t demons out there that don’t want to kill humans.”

“Right.” Ryker nodded. “Kill humans. Kill… Humans… Wait… I’m a human…!” Ryker shook his head rapidly. “Will I really be okay?” 

“If anything were to happen to you,” Lucifer put a hand on Ryker’s shoulder, “it would be our responsibility.” He then frowned. “And I won’t betray Diavolo’s expectations. So rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure you survive your stay down here in the Devildom.”

“Well…” Ryker chuckled softly, “you seem confident in that statement so… I’m sure I’ll be safe in your hands.”

“Indeed.” Lucifer nodded. “Although we will be living together you should still have the means to reach us at any given time. 

“Your D.D.D already has all the brothers phone numbers and a messaging app. Make sure to add them all!” Diavolo chuckled. “In fact, I’ll send you a message now!”

“Isn’t that nice? You’ll be friends with the future king of the Devildom.” Satan said with a chuckle. 

“HEEEY!” Came a yell from the hallway.

“It seems the idiot Mammon has arrived.”

“Human!” A tanned man with white hair burst into the room. “Just who do you think you are!? You’ve got a whole lotta nerve summoning the great Mammon!”

Ryker held up his hands. “Ah! Sorry, sorry! But Lucifer wanted me to bring you here! I’m really sorry!”

“Hnnn…” Mammon crossed his arms and snarled. “Listen up! I’m only going to say this once so listen close! If you value your life then hand over all your money and valuables! Now! Otherwise I’ll wipe that happy-go-lucky off your face by eating you! First your head then-“

“MAAAAMMOOON!” Lucifer shouted. “Shut up or I’ll punch you!” He said, punching Mammon in the arm.

“OW! Hey! Lucifer! I thought you’d give me a chance to shut up before punching me!” Mammon rubbed his arm, grumbling.

“Mammon is the avatar of greed,” Satan whispered from behind Ryker. “He governs and oversees all forms of it. Whenever he takes a liking to someone they suddenly find themselves awash with money. But if he breaks it off with someone I hear that they’re suddenly left with no wealth at all.” 

“And he’s a masochist!” Asmodeus perked up. “That part is super important!”

“Indeed,” Lucifer nodded, “and I just so happen to have a job for my masochist brother.” 

“I ain’t a masochist and I wasn’t asking for that punch! Stop telling lies!” Mammon yelled, waving his fist at his brothers.

“Mammon,” Lucifer said, smirking at him. “You are going to be in charge of seeing to this human’s needs during their whole exchange. I expect your full cooperation.”

“What!?” Mammon growled. “Why me!?”

“Awww…” Asmodeus put a hand on his cheek and pouted. “You’re so lucky Manmon… I’m jealous…” 

“Perfect! Then you do it Asmo!” Mammon yelled.

“What? No way. I’m too lazy.” Asmodeus replied.

“I thought you said you were jealous!” 

“Just give up Mammon.” Satan said, shaking his head. “There’s no getting out of this. You can’t refuse a direct command from Lucifer. You know that.”

“Why does it have to be me!?” Mammon shook his head. “Why not Beel? Why can’t he do it!?”

“You can’t leave Beel in charge of a human.” Asmodeus said, shaking his head. “We might as well ask him to eat the human.”

“I can’t promise I wouldn’t…” Beel whined, still holding his stomach. 

“Geez! You’re useless Beel, you know that?” Mammon huffed, shaking his head and throwing his arms up slightly.

“That’s a mean thing to say to your brother.” Ryker said. “Really, you should be nicer.”

“Eh!? What does a human like you think they can do telling me-“

“Mammon?” Said Lucifer’s deep voice.

Mammon froze and slowly turned to look at Lucifer. “Yes…? Brother dearest…?”

“Surely you aren’t objecting to this arrangement… Are you?” Lucifer’s face was smiling, but it was almost as if you could see the evil aura around his body as he spoke.

“Gah…!” With a look of fear Mammon threw his arms up again. “Ugh! I hate you guys! Every last one of ya!”

“Well that’s mean…” Ryker said with a huff. 

“Fine! I’ll do it, okay!?” Mammon finally agreed. He turned to Ryker and put his hands on his hips. “Now listen here, human. I’m an important person, and I’m super busy, but I’m doing this because Lucifer told me to. In return for my valuable time and gratitude, you better not go causin’ any trouble! Ya hear me!”

“Loud and clear…” Ryker said, rubbing his ears. “Especially the loud part…”

“Good! So you agree! That’s what I like to hear! As long as ya listen to everything I say, you’ll be fine!” Mammon snickered, crossing his arms. “And don’t go forgetting who’s boss here.”

“Right,” Ryker nodded with a smile, “Diavolo. He is the ruler of this place.”

“No! You idiot! It’s me! I’m the boss!”

“Since we have decided on who will be taking care of you,” Lucifer interjected, “it is now time to discuss your tasks.” 

“Tasks?” Ryker asked. He didn’t know there would be tasks here. Would they be hard? 

“Ah yes. I suppose I should explain. Your task while here is to polish up your soul and to acquire the power to resist demons.”

“Uh-huh…” Ryker nodded, crossing his arms. “And is there going to be a class on soul polishing and demon resisting?”

Lucifer frowned and shook his head. “No. To demons your nice, kind human soul looks a shiny jewel. They’ll do anything in their power to get their hands on it.”

“Well I’m flattered that my soul is like a jewel.” Ryker said.

“Hmm…” Lucifer smirked at Ryker. “The demons here at RAD also have tasks. Either humans will fail to resist the temptation, or demons will lose against the shiny and noble soul of the humans and make a run for it. In a way, you could say this is like an experiment.”

Ryker smiled and nodded, but inside he was having a hard time staying calm. Experiment? This was his life! Not something you play with in high school science class! “What happens if I win?” He asked.

“Let’s see… I’ll prepare some rewards to ensure you give it your all.” Lucifer said, crossing his arms and smiling down at the human. “Does that sound fair?” 

Ryker pouted slightly. “What kind of rewards would be worth risking my life for…”

“There there.” Lucifer said. “Don’t give me that look. Don’t take it so seriously. You won’t have to do these tasks on your own.”

“I won’t?” 

“Of course. Unlike the other exchange student staying here, you have no magic in you.” Lucifer chuckled.

“I don’t know whether to feel relieved or insulted…” Ryker said.

“Regardless, my brothers and I will lend our powers to you and you alone.”

“Really?” Ryker asked. “Does that mean I can charm people?”

In the background Asmodeus chuckled. “I like that he asked about my power~! It shows mine is obviously the best!” He said.

“Totally!” Ryker nodded. “I can get free food from restaurants~!” He said with a happy look on his face.

Lucifer sighed and shook his head. “With that, my explanation has come to a close. To sum it all up for you… You will be an exchange student here at RAD for a year and you must do your tasks. At the end of the year you must submit a paper about your stay in the Devildom. Easy as pie, don’t you think?”

“Pie can actually be very difficult to make if you don’t know the proper technique.” Ryker replied.

“Pie…” Beelzebub drooled in the background, rubbing his stomach. “I could really go for a pie right now…”

“I wanna make one thing clear!” Mammon suddenly said to Lucifer. “If someone gets eaten, it ain’t my fault. Got it?” 

“Lucifer… I’m hungry…” Beelzebub said in the back.

“That’s too bad. Behave yourself. And Mammon. Stop acting out. If the human gets eaten you will be punished.”

Both brothers went silent, not wanting to incur the wrath of their older brother. 

“Well… Let’s make it a year to remember!” Ryker said with a smile.

“Ryker,” Diavolo placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “From now on you’ll be living in the house of lamentation. You’ll be staying there for Lucifer and his six younger brothers.”

“Mmhm. You guys said that.” 

“Humans… Angels… Demons… I imagine a world where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends. This is my dream, and I’m asking you to be the foundation for it.” Diavolo had a serious look on his face as he spoke.

“That’s a lot to ask of someone you just met… But you seem like a nice person, so… I’ll do my best.” 

“One year.” Diavolo said softly. “That’s all I ask of you.”

“One year.” Ryker repeated. “I can do one year.”


	3. The Third Eldest

The house in front of Ryker was large. Larger than any other house Ryker had ever looked at. It was like a gothic mansion taken straight from the 12th century. 

“Wow… I’ve never seen such a big place… And I get to stay here…” He said under his breath.

“Ugh!” Mammon said from beside him. “I can’t believe this… Of all the rotten luck! Why should I have to look after some human? It’s insulting! That’s what it is!” Mammon clenched his hands and grumbled. “That bastard Lucifer… Does he think he can just scare me into doing whatever he wants?”

“It sure seemed like it back there.” Ryker told him. 

“Hey! Shut it! Just so we’re clear, it’s not like I can’t say no to Lucifer! I only agreed to babysit you because- because… Uh…”

“Because you’re scared of Lucifer?”

“What did I just say!? It doesn’t matter! Just don’t go thinking I’m scared of Lucifer! Cuz I ain’t! Got it!?”

Ryker smiled at him and nodded. “Okay, got it.”

“Oh,” Mammon looked surprised but nodded back, “as long as we’ve got that straight… Ugh! Whatever! Come on! I want to go inside!”

They walked inside together and Ryker let out a loud gasp.

“It really is like being inside a 12th century mansion!” He said, looking at the entryway. The walls were a purple colour with a brown trimming. Hung along the walls were all kinds of different photos. There were two sets of stairs that led to another floor and at the top of each set was a large dragon gargoyle.

“This is the house of lamentation,” Mammon began, “it’s one of the dorms here at RAD. It’s not just a dorm though. It’s reserved for student council members.”

“Wow… My human school didn’t have dorms, let alone a huge and beautiful one like this!” Ryker said, still looking around like a kid in a candy shop.

“Lucifer, Asmo and the others take every chance they can to insult me! Callin’ me dirtbag… Scum… But I’m an officer on the student council same as them! The elite of the elite! The top of the RAD social pyramid!”

“Oh! So then I was right! You really are reliable!”

Mammon’s cheeks turned red and he looked away. “Tch… ‘Course I am! I’m the great Mammon after all! I’m a big shot! Even the biggest of the big shots think I’m awesome! So don’t go thinking I’m like any of those other peons walkin’ around!” 

“Right! Got it!”

“And just so you know, Diavolo is an even bigger shot than me! He’s so important he’s got his own castle! That’s why he doesn’t live here with us!”

“Well yeah. He is the ruler of this place after all.” Ryker said. “It makes sense that he’d have his own castle.

“Anyways…” Mammon sighed. “The long and short of it is that us seven brothers live here together.”

“You’re so lucky! I’d love to live in a nice house like this! My house in the human world is so tiny! Sometimes we don’t even have enough to eat!” He said.

“Tch… Well, now all I have to do is show you to your room.”

Ryker gasped again, looking up at Mammon. “I even get my own room!? This place is amazing!”

“Don’t just stand there with your mouth open like that! Hurry up, or I’ll leave you behind! If you got anything to ask me, you better do it now!”

“Hmm… What are your hobbies, Mammon? I wanna get to you better, if we’re gonna be friends!”

“Eh? Hobbies?” Mammon turned to Ryker and shrugged. “I ain’t got any. Ah wait!” He let out a laugh. “How about this? I like takin’ it easy, laughing and having fun! How about that? Hm?”

“It’s-“

“I guess that’s more of a lifestyle than a hobby, hm?” Mammon interrupted. “Wait! I thought of another! I like seeing Lucifer in a tricky situation and watching him squirm around when he isn’t sure of what to do!”

“That doesn’t seem like a hobby. That just seems mean.” Ryker said, looking up at Mammon with a questioning look.

“Tch! Well you asked! Besides, I was asking if you had any questions about life here at RAD! What do you wanna go and talk about me for…”

“It’s like I said before!” Ryker crossed his arms then smiling up at Mammon. “It’s because I want to be your friend!”

“Ah shut it…!” Mammon said, his cheeks flaring up again. “Anyways, I got some advice for you! So listen close!”

Ryker got closer to Mammon, nodding. If he had a notepad he most likely would be writing down each word of advice Mammon was about to tell him.

“Now listen good, got it?” Mammon started. Ryker nodded for him to continue. “If you want to survive here… If you ever come across a demon that you think is going to attack you… Run. Run or die. It’s your choice.”

“Ah… That’s a bit scary…” Ryker said.

“How about this? I vote for you to die, Mammon!” Came a voice from the top of the stairs. Ryker looked over to see a boy wearing the same uniform as them. His hair was combed down, almost covering his eyes, and was a purple colour similar to the walls. 

“Gah!” Mammon shouted. “Levi…! Uh… Listen here, human! This is Leviathan, the avatar of envy! He’s the third oldest of us brothers! Since his name is kinda hard to say just call him Levi! Okay, let’s go!” Mammon said, pushing Ryker in a rush.

“Mammon! Not so fast! Give me back my money.” Levi said, his arms crossed. “Give it to me then go crawl in a hole and die.”

Ryker shivered. These brothers were all so harsh to each other. He had heard of siblings not getting along, but this was crazy.

“Ah come on, Levi!” Mammon said, standing behind Ryker as if the human was a shield. “I told ya I would get it to you! I just need a bit more time! Besides, you want me to die even after giving it back? That’s real harsh, Levi!”

“A little more time?” Levi questioned, ignoring any of the statements Mammon had made. “How much more time?”

“A little more!” Mammon replied. “A little more means a little more! Okay!?” 

“Mammon.” Levi had a serious look on his face. “You’ve been telling me that for the past two hundred years.”

Ryker felt like he had just been hit with a brick. A year felt like a lot of time to him… But two hundred!? His brain could barely comprehend it!

“Hey! You’re wrong! It’s two hundred and sixty! Get it right, Levi!”

Ryker shook his head. He wondered if Mammon realized that was worse than two hundred.

“Seriously? Unbelievable… Mammon, you’re-“ Levi started.

“Scum?” Mammon interrupted, “is that what you’re gonna call me?”

Levi crossed his arms and stared Mammon dead in the eyes. “A lowlife and a waste of space.”

“Hey! Come on!” Mammon frowned. “That’s even worse!”

“I don’t care. Give me back my money.”

Ryker looked between the two and rubbed the back of his head. He really just wanted to go see his room. Listening to them fight about money made him feel like he was back at home.

“I need the money to buy the Blu-Ray box set of Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and her Reluctant Companion!” 

That was a long name for a show, Ryker thought. 

Levi let out a giggle and put his hands together happily. “The initial round of copies includes tickets to a live event as a promotional bonus!”

Mammon shook his head and put his hands up. “I don’t understand a word you’re sayin’ Levi, but I can’t give you any money! I don’t even have anything! How am I supposed to give you money I don’t have, hm?”

“So you refuse to pay me back?”

“You lookin’ for a fight, Levi?” Mammon asked, looking ready to throw down.

Ryker shivered. This was all getting a bit too overwhelming for him. He really wanted to go to his room now.

“Excuse me… Can we please just go to my room now? I really don’t want to have you guys fight over money with me here…” Ryker said.

“Who’s this?” Levi asked, looking down at Ryker. “Your newest sponsor?”

“Sponsor?” Ryker said, tilting his head. 

“Hah!” Mammon laughed. “As if! I’d need someone super rich to be my sponsor! Though now that I think about it… I think this human likes the same stuff you do! I bet you’d kill to have some of the stuff in his collection! They’re… What do you call ‘em again? Those weird dolls you buy?”

Levi frowned, looking displeased with the entire conversation. “Figurines.” 

“Yeah, those! You collect them, don’t ya human?”

Ryker scratched his cheek and smiled. “I guess… I don’t have a lot of money, so I can’t really afford any of the really good ones… But if I can get some then I do, as long as I don’t have to help buy groceries or anything.”

“Hmm… You collect figurines?” Levi asked. “Ooh, do you have any of the main characters from Battle Princess Brigade? Or Girls Only? Or Diamond Dust?”

“Ah… Yeah! I have one from Diamond Dust that I got on sale!” Ryker said.

“No way…!” Levi held his chest, looking amazed and in pain. “The human world sounds so awesome…! Hey…” He looked around then frowned. “That ass Mammon ran off!”

“Ah… But he was supposed to show me to my room…” Ryker pouted, holding his arm out in the direction he assumed Mammon had run off in.

“Do you realize what he did? He used you as a distraction to run away from me! Or maybe I should say sacrifice…”

“I’d prefer distraction.” Ryker said. “I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.” 

“I’ll admit that Mammon is one of the scummiest scumbags alive… But that was pretty dumb, letting him use you like that.”

“Huh? Well excuse me!” Ryker crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks out. “Sorry for being happy to talk to someone about figurines for once! I’ll find my room by myself!”

“Ugh! This is exactly why humans are- Wait… Humans… That’s it! Are you free right now?”

“What?” 

“Of course you are! You don’t know where your room is and you have nothing to unpack!” Levi laughed. Ryker was starting to feel looked down upon. “You guys are all really mean. Even for demons…”

“What? Whatever. You know what? Doesn’t matter. You’re coming with me either way.”

Ryker shivered again. Why did all of these demons have to be so mean? It’s like they were monsters. Suddenly, Ryker heard his phone go off.

“Ah, wait a second.” He pulled his phone out and checked. “It’s from Mammon.”

“What’s it say?”

Ryker read it aloud for the both of them. “Heya, I suddenly remembered I have some business I gotta take care of. If ya need something, just ask Levi.”

Levi frowned, grumbling to himself. “That scumbag!”

“Ah! Another!” Ryker read this one but decided not to share. Mammon had told him not to tell Lucifer anything, then had sent a rather threatening owl emoji.

Ryker sent one back, snickering to himself. He frowned when all he got back was another owl emoji of it shaking its head.

“Come on human,” Levi said. “We have work to do.”

——

Levi brought Ryker into his room, looking around before closing the door. The room was amazing. The walls all seemed to be aquariums filled with fish and water. He could even see a few jellyfish floating around. The room was also filled with merchandise from different anime, along with what looked like four computers.

“Why did you look around before closing the door?” Ryker asked.

“Eh? What do you mean why did I look around before closing the door? Why do you think I did!? Isn’t it obvious!? Imagine what would happen if someone saw me inviting you in my room! A human who definitely doesn’t look like an otaku but a normie! You know what people would say, right!?”

Ryker frowned, crossing his arms. “I’m an otaku too, you jerk.”

“Really? You are…? W… Well, if you think that means I’ll treat you special then forget it! Cuz I won’t!”

Ryker looked over to the bookcase nearby. It was filled with thick, hardcover books as big as encyclopedias. He couldn’t help but wonder just how much each cost. Ryker got closer and read the title. The Tale of the Seven Lords: The Lord of Shadow Awakens.

“What’re you looking at?” Levi asked, peeking over his shoulder. “Ah! That’s the Tale of the Seven Lords! Are you a fan of the series too?” 

“Ah… I’ve never heard of it.” Ryker replied. “Though I’d like to give it a-“

“Excuse me?” Levi gasped, looking offended. “You don’t know TSL? And you call yourself a human!? Just how clueless are you!? How could you not know!?”

Ryker was beginning to not like spending time with Levi. “I was about to say I’d give it a try…”

Levi sighed and put a hand on his temple. “Just the fact that you don’t know TSL is proof that you’ve been wasting your entire life.”

Ryker looked up at Levi, a frown on his face. “Excuse me?”

“I’m going to do you a favour and teach you all about it! So make sure you pay attention!”

“I already told you I would give it a try… Do demons just not have good hearing…?”

“The Tale of the Seven Lords, also known as TSL-“ Levi began. Ryker frowned. “They really are deaf, aren’t they…”

“-Is a series of fantasy novels written by Cristopher Peugot! It’s heroic epic spanning 138 volumes-“

“138 VOLUMES!?” Ryker yelped. “That’s so many…!”

Levi frowned. “I’m talking.”

“Sorry.”

“Anyways… Yes. 138 volumes, and it’s the most widely-read fantasy series in the world. There are even theatrical versions, an animated series, and feature films too! And it’s been translated into a total of 182 different languages!”

Ryker listened to everything Levi said, but his head was starting to hurt. “That’s a lot of languages…”

Regardless of what Ryker said, Levi continued to talk. “The 1990s theatrical version was an utter disaster, owing to the fact that they added several characters that were not in the original manuscript. At the time I thought that the producers totally should crawl in a hole and die!”

“Like you said about Mammon?”

“Yes!” Levi nodded, pointing at him. “At the time, it felt even worse! But then the 2015 version came out, and it was totally amazing!!! Better than amazing! If you ask me, it showed that needlessly cramming a female lead in there next to Henry was a bad idea. That’s not what he needs. What he really needs is a friend who understands him, and the 2015 version proved that. Also, the most vital element of the story is that each of the seven lords is so unique! They’re all so interesting in their own peculiar way. That’s what makes TSL so great.”

Ryker held his head. It felt like he had just heard the Gordon Ramsey of series reviews talk to him about a series he knew nothing about. “Could we take a-“

Before Ryker could finish talking, Levi started up again. “The lords are all brothers. The oldest is called the Lord of Corruption. He doesn’t come across as being so bad at first, but he’s always plotting and planning in secret. The second oldest is the Lord of Fools, a scumbag who would do anything for money!”

When Levi mentioned the second lord Ryker thought of Mammon. He wondered if Levi hated the Lord of Fools as much as he seemed to hate Mammon.

“The third brother is the Lord of Shadows, a brooding recluse. The fourth oldest is known as the Lord of Masks. He masquerades as a high-status, upstanding member of society, but underneath it all, he’s an inhumane monster.”

Ryker couldn't help but wonder how much time the author spent working out things with the Lord of Masks. He seemed like a deep character.

“The fifth oldest, the Lord of Lechery, only ever thinks of sex. The sixth oldest is the Lord of Flies, and he only ever thinks of food. Then there’s the seventh oldest, called the Lord of Emptiness. He’s weird… You never know what’s running through his head!”

“Levi.” Ryker smiled at him, reaching up and patting his shoulder. “That all sounds lovely, but could I perhaps just read it for myself? I wouldn’t want you spoiling anything.”

Levi gasped. “You’re right! That would suck! Okay then! I’ll let you borrow my copies, but you have to be super careful with them, and you gotta talk to me about them! Also no lending them to anyone else!”

“Right! So-“

“Wait! See the goldfish in my tank?” Levi pointed to a goldfish swimming around inside the large aquarium. It stuck out in the rest of it. “That’s Henry! I love TSL so much that I couldn't help but name my fish after the main character!”

Ryker nodded, looking at the Goldfish. Levi really loved the series. Even though he seemed like a rude demon, Ryker still wanted to be friends with him. Maybe he should read the series.

“You humans have it so lucky! You have subscriptions that let you watch your favourite anime at any time! You can visit places from anime! It isn’t fair! I mean, the whole concept of pleasure came from us demons, and you guys get all the fun stuff! Ah! I want to do all the fun things Henry can do!”

“Well-“

“Anyways, I didn’t bring you here to tell you about TSL.”

With all the talking Levi had done Ryker was a little shocked that he hadn’t been brought there to discuss the series. “So what did you bring me here for?”

“Okay well. There’s no harm in saying this since you already know… Mammon is a complete and utter scumbag.”

“As you have said many times now.”

“I’ll say it again so you understand.” The air felt tense with each word Levi said. “Mammon is a useless. Worthless. Scumbag.”

Ryker nodded. He didn’t necessarily agree, though it wasn’t completely wrong either. It was still upsetting to him that Mammon had left him alone. 

“I want him to pay me back the money he owes me but being the scumbag he is he won’t do it! I wish I could force him to, but despite what a waste of space he is, he’s still older than me…”

It still felt wrong for Ryker to hear Levi call his own brother a waste of space. He imagined how it would feel for someone to call him that, and it made him want to cry.

“As the younger brother I don’t stand a chance against him…”

“How did you come to hate him anyways? I mean… He’s your brother.”

“You wanna know how we became enemies, hm?” Levi crossed his arms. “ it’s a long story, but sure I’ll tell you. Once, a long time ago, Mammon won a prize in a convenience store promotional campaign. If you bought something, they let you reach into a box and pull out a piece of paper that told you what you won.”

“Ah! I love those games! They’re so fun!”

Levi nodded. “Exactly! Mammon won a Seraphine figure, something I would have died to have! But, despite that fact, Mammon had no interest in giving it to me! All because I wanted it! He said no just to torment me!” 

“That is pretty mean of him..

“I know! It’s awful! So, I got thinking… He’s just going to treat poor Seraphine like trash! That is a given. And what if he takes her out of the box!? I couldn’t handle that! I snuck in to get the figure and it was even worse than opening it… He left her in the bag from the store and on the floor!”

Ryker wanted to understand. He would have been upset in the situation too, he was sure of that, but at the moment his head was spinning a bit too much to understand.

“He left the queen of the high elves, sweet Seraphine, on the floor! I was so upset that I brought my heel down on his stomach, but suddenly he wasn’t there anymore! He had moved with ultra speed and slammed me head first to the floor! Worst part was that he was stark naked.”

“Ah…” Ryker tried to imagine the scene, but it made his cheeks heat up. “That does sound pretty scary…”

“You’ve seen how fast he is yourself! No one except Lucifer or Beel has that kind of speed… But let’s say if a human made a pact with Mammon and bound him to their service…”

“I’m not sure if I like where this is going…” Ryker said.

“He would have to listen to whatever the human says! Which means if you make a pact with Mammon then you can order him to give me back my money!” 

“That’s cool and all… But I really don’t want to give up my soul.”

Levi shrugged. “Oh well! It sounds cool right? Don’t you wanna give it a try? Besides, he’d be like your own personal servant! Doesn’t that sound awesome?”

“I’m not sure how we’ll go about doing this… But…” Ryker smiled and nodded. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try. I will be here for a while after all.”

“Perfect! You can’t just go ask Mammon, obviously! And luckily, I have a plan! You see, we need something Mammon really wants. A bargaining chip. Something he wants so badly that he'd do anything to get it.”

“And that is?”

“His credit card.”


End file.
